Me unraveled..

every passin moment is an eternity in itself.. the essence of Me seems to be slipping out of me.. 

not many frenz I made.. and.. not many I miss.. yet I wish I had.. as many.. as Many think I do.. lol.. you can't expect nything less from a philosophical chap huh.. 

well.. I know not wot it is maan.. some things in life I guess jus need time.. I dunno even if dat Is something I've got.. I don't want to accept defeat in life and mourn the rest of my life by turning myself into a grumpy old fella.. yet I also can't let fate play havoc with those most precious to me.. I know not how to share these things.. I know not how to speak.. all I know is dat I have a dream.. n I wanna live dat dream.. no matter what.. 

coming here I have been like I care not, for those around.. yet those for whom I care, I always was far beyond.. certainly by will and not by chance.. the sole reason being my suceptability to their probing vision.. not that I am now undiscerned.. jus dat I realized not all who seem are truly there when you need.. but those who are, are to be cherished for the rest of eternity.. 

for all ma frenz.. Ady.. Rahul.. Sai.. Az.. guyz I'll take some time.. maybe a lotta time or maybe less.. its seriuos stuff n not kiddo business.. n I know I'll be a pain for you'll.. am sorry for having been a pain throughout.. yet I will be back.. someday I hope.. :)

thanks guyz for jus being there.. 

cya.. 

n ma little bro too.. I love ya.. I jus hope you stay uneffected ever by any shit.. 

SSB2 Indian Air Force.. Cadet No 9.. Batch No M FNS 81267

The ability of an individual to walk through the loneliest of times is wot defines his character.. Its the time when the wall against which you were being pushed becomes your makeshift grave.. In this lonely grave lies the essence of character.. To rise through the ashes or to die trying.. N wit regard to me, I don't know if I got the zeal or the ability to succeed but all I got for those on the other side of the grave is this.... BRING IT ON!!! You ain't seen the worst of me as yet..

hmmmm afterthoughts..

well till date wot was posted out here was almost as good as anonymous coz not many knew dat it was the guy they knew.. now they do.. atleast a few handful of them do.. guess its ma reputation dats at stake now ;) but as they say those who mind don't matter n those who matter don't mind wot you are.. I always believed in the philosophy of grey.. atleast dats wot I call it.. Nobody's good or bad.. they are some good n some bad.. the same applies to aggro n sensitivity.. nobody is either this or that.. they are both.. but the quantity of each characteristic varies.. n the final combo dat you get is labeled as either this or that based on the content present in higher volume.. I ain't tryin to be defensive here.. jus dat I considered blogging like a sink.. a place where I used to drain out all the so called amalgamation of emotions wit an absolute disregard to individual perception, while also providing an identity to those emotions.. not dat I won't do the same any longer but jus dat I'll hav my inhibitions till the time am conscious of the fact dat those who know the real Me are also gonna be readin this..

ma poems..

check this out..

This one is Jus for YOU..
There lived an angel I once knew..
Starry eyed, dimpled smile and an attitude which nobody could screw..
Gorgeous she looked, in those never ending gazes we had..
Intelligent she was, in our silent conversations, a clue of which the rest never had..
Stupid I was , to let the angel one day go..
Good for me, where I stand, I still don't know..


btw "check this out" is the name of the poem.. ;)

ma poems..

hmmm hav always wanted to get this written down somwhere.. but jus couldn't find the right time or mood.. well the mood stays the same as always but I guess the time is NOW!!!

so here goes..

..........................................................................................................................................................................
Poem 1.. Missing You!!!

The silent shells..
The passing breeze..
The feel of you on ma lips..
The long walks we had, hand in hand..
The silent talks we had wit our eyes..
Here I stand at the same old place..
Its the same old waves, the same old breeze..
Jus YOU missing and a rage within..


..........................................................................................................................................................................
Poem 2.. Pyaar ke vaade!!! (couplet rather..)

Humaari bulandiyon mein kiye gaye the kayin haseen vaade..
Maaloom hua ke jhoot bolna unki fitrat hai..


..........................................................................................................................................................................
Poem 3.. Mulaakhaat!!!

Aarzoo thi unke aane ki, aur koi aasra na raha..
Ek itteffakhan mulaakhaat ke siwa aur koi chaara na raha..
Ek muddat se chal rahi hai zindagi,
Hum kisike.. Koi humaara na raha..


..........................................................................................................................................................................
Poem 4.. A lost Rose!!! (You need history to understand this one.. I bet you won't really appreciate this one much.. )

The only hope jus vanished..
The last ray jus got famished..
What seemed like a vesuvian flame was jus a flicker in this game..
They call this love.. I call it pain..
All's fair they say, wonder why I got no say..
She said it was me, wonder why I don't see..
Guess the distance had a role to play..
or maybe it was jus Me who couldn't play..
The longing eyes melts me still, those flaming hair makes me still..
A smoked up cigarette from her lips is all I lost in this game..


..........................................................................................................................................................................
Poem 5.. Pal Yeh Pal!!! (This one's ma fav..)


Pal.. Yeh pal..
Har pal yaad aaten hain un sunehri zulfon ki ghata mein bitaye gaye vo haseen pal..
Un jhuki nazron se iqrar ka vo ek pal..

Har kal ki yaad dilaata hai bas Yeh Pal..

Yaad aaten hain un bulandiyon mein kiye gaye vaade har pal..
Samajh aati hai aapki fitrat, bas Is Pal..

Jhooti thi voh khushi.. Jhoota tha voh pal..
Chal tha voh kal, ab najaane kaise bitega Yeh Pal..

Kal ki bulandiyon pe jab rakhunga khadam..
Yaad karunga, tumhaara vo chal, aur bas, Yeh Pal..

..........................................................................................................................................................................

well dats about it for now.. will get back wit better ones sometime soon..

till then..

shabbakhair.. lol.. adios..

..........................................................................................................................................................................

back again.. after a long time though.. jus to update the blog wit the latest poems..

Poem:

raah ye guzarti nahi, bada lamba safar hai..

ek ankahi anjaani mulakhaat ne hauslon ka rukh badal diya..

nazar aaten hai sirf jaam o saaz, e saakhi..

do boond ashq ne in toofaanon ka rukh badal diya..

Poem: Dost..

Tere liye e Dost.. har khushi maangleta..

Zindagi ki raahon mein bandagi maangleta..

Maangleta saara jahaan sirf Tere liye..  par afsoos ye hai..

Ke..

Mujh se pehle Khuda hi tera deewaana nikla..

Birthday bhai..

the birthday.. my birthday.. it was made so special jus bcoz of one person.. he's the one i owe my heart and soul to.. whoz been a pillar of support through the tough times.. whoz matuarity has given me strength to endure the pains of this world.. whoz always brought me a smile in the most depressing of times.. whoz always been a mediator in the most terrible of fights with The Superiors*.. whoz smile has alwayz pulled me outta soul wrenching sorrow.. whoz always tried to set my mood right inspite of the odds against him.. whoz frustrated me to the core by neglecting me occassionally.. whoz been a great opening partner and a greater cricketer on the whole.. I Owe This Moment and Innumerable Such Moments to this one chap.. My loving brother.. I Love You Bro..

My bro arranged for a wonderful treat for me.. a stupendously delicious b'day cake.. a super sexy and SUPER COSTLY PERFUME.. a warm and cosy complete family gathering captured beautifully on video and finally a super delightful b'day card which says "It's not true ki only at sad times I come in search of you. Masti times just pass by seconds so may be you have never noticed. For the one whom I really care, From Kashif, Happy Birthday Bhaiya"..

Words my dearest bro, have the ability to craft history, break barriers and bring a rock like me to tears.. i jus pray to the Almighty to keep you happy always and to bless you with the choicest of blessings and to always keep an evil like me blessed wit the love of ma sweetest brother..

Thanks for making ma life a better place to live.. you many a times are the sole reason for many a sweet things that keep making my life a better experiance.. Thanks bro.. Could never have done without you..

there seems to be an emptiness in life.. a space which is jus not being filled.. however hectic my schedule might be, this particular space is still left unfulfilled.. all the work that happens is just to divert my attention from seeing this obvious omnipresent nothingness.. there is nothing of value, nothing of any importance and nothing makes sense.. it is like a room full of smoke, the decor is jus of no value, wot fills the room is the smoke, similarly with ma life all the so called essential parameters is of no value except for this nothingness.. its like a void.. like a dark mystery.. like the enormously gigantic universe which never ends..